Grief and Bereavement: When Sadness Becomes More

This article is general information published by the practice of Dr. Sholeh Toobaei, Specialist Psychiatrist, Dubai. It has not yet been individually reviewed by a clinician and is not a substitute for personal medical advice. Published: 1 September 2026.

Scope: This article is general information about grief and bereavement. It is not a diagnosis. If you are struggling with loss and feel that grief is overwhelming your life, a professional assessment can help.

Grief is not an illness

Grief is a natural response to loss. When someone you love dies, when a relationship ends, when you lose your home, your health, or your sense of identity — grief is the emotional pain that signals something meaningful has been taken from you. Grief is not a mental disorder. You do not need to "fix" grief. What you may need is support in processing it, and help when the grief becomes stuck.

Everyone grieves differently. There is no timeline, no correct way to feel, and no point at which grief is "finished." The idea that grief follows neat stages in a fixed order is a misunderstanding. Some people feel sadness first. Some feel anger. Some feel numb. Some feel relief, especially if the person was suffering from a long illness. All of these responses are normal.

What does grief feel like?

In the first days and weeks, grief often feels like shock. The world feels unreal. You go through the motions — arranging things, making calls, answering questions — but you feel detached from it all. This dissociation is protective. It gives your nervous system time to absorb the magnitude of what has happened.

Then the waves come. Grief rarely arrives as a steady tide. It comes in waves that can feel overwhelming one moment and manageable the next. A song, a smell, the empty chair at the table — these triggers are unpredictable and can hit months or even years later. This is not failure. This is how grief works.

Physical symptoms are common. Loss of appetite, disturbed sleep, chest tightness, fatigue, headaches, stomach problems. Grief is a full-body experience. The nervous system is in a state of prolonged stress, and the body pays a physical price.

What is "complicated grief"?

For most people, grief gradually becomes more manageable over time. The waves become less frequent and less intense. You learn to carry the loss rather than being consumed by it. This process takes time — often a year or more — and everyone's timeline is different.

Complicated grief (also called prolonged grief disorder) is when the grief does not gradually ease. Instead, the person remains stuck in the acute phase for an extended period — typically more than a year for adults — and the grief continues to severely impair their daily functioning.

Signs of complicated grief include:

• Intense longing for the deceased that does not diminish over time
• Inability to accept the death
• Feeling that life is meaningless without the person who died
• Extreme difficulty engaging in daily activities
• Bitterness or anger about the loss that does not soften
• Feeling numb or detached from other relationships
• Avoiding reminders of the loss to the point of social isolation
• Thoughts that you should have died instead

Complicated grief is treatable. It is more common in people who lost someone suddenly or violently, who had a dependent relationship with the person who died, or who already had anxiety or depression before the loss. It is also more common in people who are isolated — without friends or family to support them through the process.

How does culture affect grief?

In many cultures, grief is a communal experience. Extended families gather, neighbours bring food, religious ceremonies provide structure and meaning. The community carries the grieving person for a while, which is one of the most important things you can offer someone who has lost.

In Dubai, where most people are expatriates without extended family nearby, grief can be profoundly isolating. You may have flown in for the funeral and returned to an apartment with no one to call when the waves hit. This is not a failure on your part. The expatriate experience of grief — being far from home, far from family, far from the cultural and religious practices that normally scaffold mourning — is one of the less discussed costs of living abroad.

In some cases, people return to their home country to grieve and are confronted with cultural practices they no longer feel connected to, while still being separated from their current community in Dubai. This double displacement can make grief even more confusing and isolating.

What can help?

Time. This sounds like a cliché but it is the single most important factor in normal grief. The brain needs time to reorganise around the absence. Do not force yourself to "move on." Allow yourself to grieve at the pace your nervous system requires.

Connection. Stay connected to people even when you do not want to. Grief wants you to isolate; connection is the antidote. You do not have to talk about your feelings — sometimes just being in a room with someone is enough.

Routine. The structure of daily life — work, meals, exercise, sleep — is not a betrayal of your grief. It is an anchor. Maintaining routine, even when it feels meaningless, gives your nervous system predictability in a time of chaos.

Professional support. Therapy for grief is not about "getting over it." It is about processing the loss in a way that allows you to reconnect with life. Grief counselling provides a space to express the feelings that may be too painful, too complicated, or too shameful to share with anyone else. It is particularly important if grief is becoming complicated — if you are unable to function, if you are using substances to cope, or if you are having thoughts of joining the person who died.

When the loss is not a death. Grief responds to all forms of loss — the end of a marriage, a diagnosis, job loss, moving to a new country, the loss of health or fertility. These "ambiguous losses" can be harder to name and harder for others to recognise, which makes them harder to process. If you are grieving a loss that others cannot see, know that your grief is still real and still deserves support.

When should I seek help?

If your grief has been intensely overwhelming for more than a year without any easing; if you are unable to function at work, in relationships, or in daily life; if you are using alcohol or substances to numb the pain; if you feel that life is not worth living; or if you are having thoughts of self-harm — seek professional support. Grief is a natural process, but you do not have to go through it alone.

Seek urgent help — call 999 (police) or 998 (ambulance) in the UAE, or go to the nearest emergency department — if you are having thoughts of self-harm, if you are unable to care for yourself, or if you are in any way a danger to yourself. For non-urgent enquiries, use the appointment request form on this website. This practice does not operate a monitored telephone line, and a message sent through the form may not be read straight away.